Under the running water,i closed my eyes. All the problems surfaced.

I think i’m selfish.

Because of a moment of pride i decided to quit-for real

Little did i know, its really coming true.

The fear i’ve kept inside my heart

The fear to grow up faster

Nobody said its easy

I didnt say it out, but when i saw you, hiding your face away from me

wiping your tears away

wo zhen de hen xin tong

they suffered so much for me, cant i suffer for them too?

Everything is never as it seems.

xx, GROW UP!

My cough syrup

Someone who hated cough syrup for  21 years, suddenly changed to like cough syrup, and appreciate it.

I cant believe that someone was me.

I’m always looking forward to drink a tablespoon of it ever since i fall ill. Want to know why?

Cause it cures my insomnia :]

How bad my insomnia can be man~

Problems are always there, i’ve learnt to flee from them, as much as i can

Not to say i’m a coward, or mayb i am

I good at running away from problems

I even hope that i can keep running away from all of them

but is impossible

Life, so unpredictable, so fragile

in fact, so simple

Yet i make a mess out of it

sigh

smile xiuxian

its good to be thankful thati’m still alive and breathing

be thankful

gan en!

1 week MC

Hey peeps!

Its been such a long time since i’ve updated my life here. That’s because i’ve been running high fever since last fri to be exact.haha. I dont know why i’m so suay to let Mr fever caught me off gaurd. I think  i’ve caught the sun rain >.< that afternoon during lunch break , but Mae said that i’ve overworked and over stressed myself.

[side note: scroll down to the lastly part cause thestory is too draggy]

After lunch on fri, i’ve already been experiencing stinging pain from my head down to my lower back while working..i know something must be wrong..but i cant figure out what. Suddenly, the office seemed so cold. But fortunately, there are alot alot of work waiting for me to finish so  i buried myself in the pile of work and ignoring all those pain.

Met up with Mae after work and head to Willie’s hse. Man, i can even walk properly due to the pain, during praise and worship, the pain started to get worse. The pain is so unbearable till i felt like tearing >.<.. After that  at the BS, Willie asked me to read 2 very long verse, i struggled to finish reading them, and my lovely cg members still laugh at me..so paisay.. AFter the meeting, i went over to the sofa and rest. YQ thought that  my [BIG AUNT MA] come -.-‘. But i really feel comforted cause at least they care for me..hiak hiak.. Willie went over to talk with me, i complained to him about my work, school, tuition, project, upcoming test bla bla..but he din niam me but encourage me..First time lei! haha. I really felt at that time i’m not talking to Willie but to God ^^!

After CGM, mae and i went to buy cupnoodles and milk for supper and went home. Once home, i washed up and started on the business task 1 which was only halfway done. Kim had to pass me her part b4 i can do mine. However she got OT on fri till 9pm that’s why she send me like around 2am plus. Luckily there’s Mae and Jesper to cheer me on..hehe..I already felt hot flushes running thru and fro my body, but i dont want to let my parents know..so i tou tou ate 2 panadol, then i realise its not for fever..wah lau…I did till 3am till my body break down and went to bed. Didnt sleep well, woke up at 7am, and continue doing…b4 that Jesper said he’ll be helping me so some part of the project ^^..but he din send me -.-.. never mind, i waited and waited..but he din come on9 and send me..by that time i already felt giddy and almost fainted.lols..Check my temperature, had a shock of my life, 40.5 deg!! I cannot sit der waiting liao, so i called Jesper to wake him up, he woke up and faster send me..lols! i hang on and faster compile. >.<

Faster prepare and lie on sofa to rest,sms mae, hoping that she can accompany me to the clinic, but she din sms me back, at that time i lose heart ler..[sidenote: mae, that’s why till now my heart is under maintenance..lols] mum felt something was wrong, when she knew i’m running fever, she started scolding me..hais..No choice, i called jesper to acompany me to see doc. Mum continued to scold me, my dad gladly join in..i cant stand both of them already, so i decided to go clinic by myself imediately..Mum forced me to eat 2 panadol first b4 we both head down to clinic. At the clinic, the nurse helped me to check temp, she gave me the puzzled look and said “no fever ar its 36.9 deg”. My mum socold me again, saying that i see the thermometer wrongl at home.. i felt like crying again…fever can joke de meh?

My turn to see the doc, went inside the room, the doc help me take temperature, 39.9deg. He shocked dao, say y so high den see doc..haha..den started to niam niam niam…he scared kena i H1N1, he pass me a one week mc stay during this one week i cant leave hse even if i had no fever..SIAO AR!how can? i got test on wed lei T.T i argue with the doc saying later i still need to hand in my project..bla bla …but i still lose to him cause mum is also supporting him -.-.. However, lu shi si de, ren shi huo de, i’ve learnt to be flexible.so i say ok to doc, but after seeing the doc i can still hail cab and go school de ma..haha..Went over to sim with Jesper, really need to thanks him or else i think i’ll really faint halfway to school. The details i think its too much to write here.

 

LASTLY..

I want to thank N355 especially WILLIE,MAE, YQ, MINMIN, JOLYNN, YANYAN, ATHENA, SHARRY for your smses and encouragement for me. Your are really like God-sent Angels watching over me :] if not it’s really impossible for me to get well that fast! 😀

MY MUMMY, for taking care of me, scolding me although i know its for my own good, and the fish maw soup that we only get to eat during CNY, u cooked that because u knew my body is weak, i’m currently under alot of pressure and stress, and need some comfort food..hiak hiak!

Thanks NAW for volunteering to help me hand in my project. B4 tha i went to school to realise that i save the wrong file to print. But luckily i din left school too early or too late. LOVES U LOTS LOts!

Thanks JESPER for helping me with my project, for sending me to school and sending me home..thanks for your time and effort, your pi dan zhou, although i dont like, and only took 2 mouthful, i really appreciate it :]

And not forgeting,

THANK YOU, MY ABBA FATHER! Thank you for always watching over me, sending your angel bao biao to protect me, i cant get well that fast if not for You! I LOVE YOU!

anyway

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JOLYNN!

Excitement yet a lil afraid

Alot of things happened today, i felt like i’m in my dreams. LMAO!

One of them is getting a job today in the evening and starting the next day.That’s fast. I’m excited yet uneasy unsure and a little afraid. Had not been working in an office environemnt for a year plus. God, please make me strong! I’m happy to find a job, but i’ll be very busy, juggling work, tuition, school, CG. Should i stop teaching tuition?

Another thing.. is…these past few days i’ve been thinking what i really want. Everybody around me kept telling me that they want to find BF to care for them..However, I wanted a brother more than a BF actually..because of some particular reasons which i dont feel safe to comment here , i felt that i’m not really ready to commit. Well, who knows what will happen in the future..maybe when i have time to commit..lols

Another one..mayb i’ll write about it tmr..LMAO!

July

Start of part time studying-clinch a few more tuitions-club more and more-drank more and more-met more pple-implusive buyings-HS’s bday celebration-work for chang beer for a night-late night suppers-fell down-got up-expensive buffet-lost a card at mac-laugh non stop-belly button touching craze–finally register for BTT-had same dream for 3 days straight-loving Jesus more and more :D-went YMCA and meet up with them-walk from bugis to orchard, great exercise-mae’s baluku-waking up in the wee morning hrs to cook hardboil egg for her-drag my feet to FOP-dui bu qi da jie-played with yuki-play wii-late for class, as always-attended derrick’s wedding-being misunderstood-made someone angry-made someone had tiff-waste money on cab fare-

and alot which i’ve 4gotten.

Went to church’s 20th aniversary at indoor stadium. Missed the 2nd session, total regret sia..yan was telling me how happening and exciting the session was..aww!!!!! Mae, athena and i went to flea market @ st james that’s why..but still ok lar..cause its an experience i’ll never 4get..learn alot alot:D Mae, cheer up, i know u miss me lar..haha..hang on ok..we meet up for icecream at downstairs this week ok? lols!! i really miss our HTH talk ler.. T.T

BFFs

BFF= meaning  Best Friends Forever

have you ever let this 3 words run through your mind? And really consider who are really your best friends and who will be there with you forever?

I lost something which i deemed is precious to me, something that i hold onto dearly. Yes, i’ve lost a card, but its not just a normal card worth 1.75 bucks, its a thought, a love, a bond that i’ve been holding on. Not many pple know what really happened, they may think ‘aiyah, its just a card mah’ or if they knew what happened quite long ago, they may say ‘why waste your time doing this card, its not worth it bla bla’.

i tresure the card, even when i’ve not started working on it..i tresure my friends around me, even if we havent been contacting. Back of my mind keep telling me stop wasting my time when even after i finish the card, nothing much will happen. But! My heart tell me to continue with it, and i want to follow my heart :] I know i will have no regrets 😀 perhaps it’ll be the last time i’m doing it for her, who knows? i might do it everyyear till i had my last breath.

I know i’m not a great friend to everyone around. Pple may stab me and i still treat it as nothing has happen..but..I want to thank someone special, and that’s MAE ONG JING TING!

Thanks for trusting in me when pple are stabbing me or using the fastest way[use gun shoot me-LOLS!], u help me pluck out the penknife, cooking knife, bread cutter, chopper, axehead, and even chainsaw! and not forgetting to nurse the wound for me. hehe..wanna cry ler lar..However, u’re always the soft type, and will cover up the murderer, even thou during the “murderer” i’m always kena the murderer-aha..no link i know…

No matter what, even if you try to cover the murder, the wound is still there, the hurt has been caused. Nothing can change that. But i know, there’s someone out there who will love me and tresure me just like you. Who needs  thousand frens when i have a few BFFs that will stand by me! I felt so loved all of the sudden~hiak hiak 😀

I have been dreaming about me driving in my dreams for the past 2 days..what’s the problem with me? I’m driving yet i cant seemed to step on the acclerator or the brake properly -.- Are those dream indicating that i should take up driving soon? Or they are warning me not to? Arrg. I should right? Cause everytime i wanted to go sign up, something always bound to happen, and cropped up, causing me to delay signing up. This week, i should sign up again, with kim. Yeah!^^

My sis’s back from Japan, and throwing tantrums at us, again. haizz..All because of the stupid computer? Gonna get going for tuition now..money money money kuai kuai lai~

Mon:

wanted to meet the YMCA pple supposed for lunch, however didnt, and meetup with yanxin naw and ruth instead! Took a bus to her school nearby, on the way saw alot of shophouses and lavander rd. I still remember being at around that area and eating meatball soup…wo hao xiang dai chi oo!!

Anyway, we accompanied ruth to shop and buy her slippers :] She’s leaving Singapore soon..around early Aug, will miss her. She’s soft spoken and humble. When we’re chatting with each other, i realise that my voice and tone starts to soften up too..hiak hiak…

After that, yanxin wanted to go to iluma, so we headed to Asian Kitchen to rest. I was copying the law notes from Naw. Its hard work >.< They were eating while yanxin slept soundly.

 Brought ruth to penisular to shop for gifts :]

 Met up with Mae after that, we both headed to PS to watch IceAge3..its very hilarious show..must watch 4.5/5

Then celebrated Steven’s Bday@ Lau Pa Sat.

Tue:

Celebrated Yan’s Bday, a mini one. Something funny happened.Mae and i went to Yan’s void deck to wait for her to come. While waiting, I was enjoying my sharkfin soup that i bought not long ago. Halfway through my soup, a cat was walking towards us. i could sense its eyes aiming at my soup. That time, being the selfish me[i havent had dinner mah], i stared back, trying to slurp up all quickly, and telling the cat not to come up and steal my food. I told Mae that the cat wants to eat my food, Mae laughed and thought i was crazy sia..haha..And true enough, the cat jumped up to the table effortlessly.. my soup left 1/4 i think.. Mae jerked up from her seat and siam a distance from me and the cat..The cat started off by licking the lid, ke lian..Think it hasnt been eating and no kind soul has been feeding it.i watched as it came to my soup and put its head inside the bowl, licked a little and looked at me with those super ke lian eyes..At that moment i have a feeling that the cat thought that i’m a fat fish or something, i feared a little >.<. Who knows whether the next moment the cat will pounch onto me and give me a bite?!? i siam away fromt the table, the cat began to aim yanxin’s present.haha..but it din last long, the cat jumped down from the table. I began pouring some soup on the lid, the cat came closer to me, it licked a little from the lid and went off.. kinda kelian lei..its so skinny and scary. Sometimes when cats are desperately hungry, they can do anything to make themselves full, and pple are the same too..

Then Yan xin came and we went to other void deck to chat and wait for 12am to come!

On our way home, i told mae and yan about the story of Noodle and bun. Told them part one and they laughed till…

I felt part one is the most funny , the rest not really..so here u go..

Noodles & Joke Story

Chapter One
One day, noodle quarrel with meat bao(bun). They had a fight but bao was too clumsy and lost badly. He was very angry and he told noodle to stay behind if he has the guts and he’ll get his pals to assist him. Meat bao went to find bread, man tou, jian bao etc to get them to reinforce him.

Along the way, they saw maggi mee. They ah bish ah bish ah bish and beat maggi mee up and maggi mee beri puzzled why he kena beaten up. He said, “Why u all beat me? What have I done to deserve this?” The meat bao said, “Noodle! Dun think u perm your hair then cannot recognise u!”

Chapter Two
Maggi mee, who was beaten up for no reason, was very angry. So he went to find bee hoon, udon, fried noodles etc to seek revenge. But on the way, they met small bao. Maggi mee looked at small bao for a while then told his brothers, “Bra-der! Whack him!” Maggi mee whack small bao harder & harder.

After the noodles family has left, they asked Maggi Mee why he hated small bao so much and beat him up so badly. Maggi mee said. “At first wanna teach him a small lesson only, but then see him act cute, made me so angry.”

Chapter Three
The more small bao thought of it, the more buay song he was. So, he found the bao family to whack Maggi mee. Then they found ying shi juan (noodles covered with bun). They brought him back as hostage and were about to put him on the stove to force him to talk when the bao head said, “That’s not noodles! That’s our undercover!”

Chapter Four
The family of bao and noodles are now enemies and they have gang fights whenever they see each other. One day, the noodles family was having a walk when they saw char siew bao alone. Seeing the good chance, all of them attacked him. The noodles family shouted, “Beat him hard hard! Don’t give chance just because he’s vomiting blood!”

Chapter Five
Poor char siew bao, with his injuries, went to the bao headquarters to look for help. All the bao family was activated and together with red bean bao, green bean bun etc. they went to seek revenge. All the passerbys siam them as they look like they will kill. They saw french fries jalan jalan along, shopping. The bao family attacked him. The bao head shouted, “Noodle people still wear gold go shopping! Whack him!!!”

Chapter Six
Finally, the bao family manage to kidnap noodle, the one who started up the whole show, and brought him back to the bao headquarter. All the baos took turns to whack him. At the end, the chief of baos – dua bah bao took a final roll over noodle before they dump him. When the poor noodle finally went home, none of the family member could recognise him bcoz he is totally disfigured – flatten. In order not to let the family bear the bad name, he appears as a new member named Mee pok.

 

I’m back from HS bday chalet 😀

Mae and i reached quite late on fri night. Had the 1st meal of my day..MAC! then started playing WII and majong, then some went to bed while some of us continue playing WII till 6am? Din sleep for 1st night, around 7am while everyone’s sleeping, chloe wanted to leave for her bao mu’s hse. So i accompanied her to wait for cab, its wierd to be awake at this time esp when your in chalet, however, i really felt peaceful that moment while walking back alone to chalet 😀 had not felt that for a long time!

Most of the time we’re slacking and playing WII!! TOns of HS’s relatives and frens from all walks of life came. The evening rain came adruptly and the chalet room’s really squeezy >.< Anyway the bday cele’s successful! Some hiccups along the way but everything went well ! HS’s very very xin fu and happy 😀

stomach cramped for 2 day straight, its nt a good feeling when stinging pain come and go >.< Its important not to skipped meal for whole day and stuff my stomach with MAC! luckily chloe and HS’s relative got medi 😀

After everyone left the chalet, we all were thinking what a waste if we stayed at chalet to sleep without having fun. Thought of going to movies, KTV, pillow fighting, card games..but that night HS’s mum stayed over to sleep, so we cant make too  much noise, in the end we left for supper and “diao-diao”. Had fun seeing a group of pple nt happy when they spent so much $$ trying to kiap the doraemon and din kiap any, while jesper kiap 3 doraemon continuously! LOLS!

Then went back chalet, wanted to watch sunrise, but it started raining >.< Its been really a long time since i watched sunrise..miss those days…After that when everyone’s sleeping, mae and i went to bath together..hohoho! Slept for 2 hrs and left chalet. Thanks Jerome for sending us to church! Mae and i trying to keep ourself awake during service. Anyway, service is awesome! Had late lunch , meeting and finally home..WOW, i slept from 9pm till 8am..mum woke me up..if not i think i can sleep till 2pm de.>.<

I thought my confusion can finally end, but after the service i’m confused again. I cant seem to make up my mind. What’s the right thing to do? Really hope that time can stop and let me think through what i really want >.<

Just now read someone’s blog and had a shock of my life! I just dont understand why she need to write such things!?!?!? I believe that love can overcome all fears. All the more, since A and B  love each other, i believe they can overcome all obstacles! Even if B left A and be with C, the same thing will happen like what u say. But what’s different is that A and B are mature and know what they are doing. I hope that if u r C’s fren, you all should not add salt to her wounds when she had decided to let go!

Going to prepare to go meet MAe soon!Shall stop here 😀

This week is quite hetic, and i’m suppose to go for the meeting but due to some reasons, i’ve decided to give it a miss. Hope i’m doing the right thing.

HS’s 21st bday is coming. Going to stay at her chalet. We’ve thought of the present for her, but the card is a headache.

I’ve found the place for the flea market (Introduced by xiao yu :D)

SWAP & SHOP!!!
1st Ever St James Flea Market
2nd August 2009
Shops open at 10am promptly

now, we need to confirm with those who wants to join us.

However there’s a problem. The flea market is on a sunday. which means we might have a slight problem..flexible is the key? lols